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CONC_SOMTHING SPEEDRUN COMPETITION (finished)

879m · 20 · 4307

879m

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“We each have a special somthing we can get only at a special time of our life. Like conc_somthing. A careful, fortunate few cherish that flame, nurture it, hold it as a torch to light their way. But once that flame goes out, it’s gone forever.”
Albert Einstein when asked about people who haven't played conc_somthing

“It was the map of my life. You know, you only have one map like that; there can't be two.”
Abraham Lincoln on conc_somthing

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when conc_somthing is played.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to play conc_somthing, and then dies having never really lived.”
Dalai Lama

Since the dawn of time, humans have searched for the answer to many questions. Ancient philosophers puzzled over the meaning of life, why we are here, morals, ethics, the law and much more. Others asked if things could be better, if things could change... if they could make a difference. They would get laughed at, mocked, bullied, shunned, and those who were weak halted their efforts for a better tomorrow.

But those who were strong, they were as strong as Atlas, and they carried the world one step up the staircase to enlightenment. Truly great people worked their whole lives to help humanity up a single step. Countless lifetimes spent to get metres, centimeters, even mere millimetres closer to the realm of the gods.

But as time went on, those who opposed such enlightenment wrested control of the people, and sought to reverse humanity's progress off the true path and onto their own way by promising their way to be an easier way, an escalator, an elevator, a rocket.

Things began to look dim for mankind. While other paths were being climbed at breakneck pace, the true path was neglected by most. Progress here fell further and further behind. Until one man, if man is even fitting to describe such a divine entity, decided enough was enough. He would stop at no cost to make humans remember the path they were straying from.

After minutes of hard work, Cranck created conc_somthing.

But all was not saved right away. Those in power caught wind of such a holy map, and banished it to the depths of the deepweb. But it still clung on in one persons mind. After years of being buried in bshear's mapping folder, it resurfaced, and received intergalactic acclaim.

Can a speedrun competition honour such a monolithic achievement in mapping? This is up for debate, but it is surely the least that can be done to show our thankfulness for this gift that Cranck bestowed upon us.

THE RULES

The nature of conc_somthing has baffled the greatest minds of our generation. No official showcase has ever been made, so special rules are in place for this competition.

You must use setpos to start in the correct position:

setpos -532.066406 -12.388189 132.031311
setang -2.986410 89.881393 0.0000008

There is to be no going out of the map, except for upwards. However, if you are able to gaze into the abyss below, you have soared too close to the sun and the run will not count.

A run must go around in a clockwise direction, traveling through the hole in a downward direction, and finishing once you have touched the mesh floor at the top of the slope. Time starts as soon as you leave the ground, in any direction.

The only regen allowed is that akin to a resupply locker. Hurtme is mandatory; not using it will disqualify your run. Official timing will be done by me on a tick by tick basis. You may provide your own estimate time when posting your run.

Noclip is not allowed, nor are any changes to the game physics or timescale.

TAS is forbidden. Anyone caught using it will be called out in a thread that will devolve into memes and pointless arguments within 5 posts.

Post your run within this thread. POV alone will suffice. Include the category that the run is for.

The main category of the competition will be 4x damage boston basher scout. There will also be sub-categories detailed below. Each category will have its own prize. Donations are welcome. All rules are final and must be followed to the word.

Leaderboards will be updated as runs are posted to this thread.

The competition will run for 2 weeks, from the time of this posting. This is the 13th of September for New Zealand's time zone. If you do not have your clocks set to this timezone, you are disappointing and must figure out when it ends in your own timezone.

Download this relic of divinity here: http://www.mediafire.com/download/07hucydm3xu8wg0/conc_somthing.bsp

Main Category: 4x Damage Boston Basher Scout

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category One: Stock Soldier

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Two: Airstrike Soldier

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Three: Stock Demoman

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Four: Pipe Only Demoman

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Five: Shield Charge Only Demoman

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Six: Caber Only Demoman

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Seven: Base Jumper Soldier

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Eight: Mini-Sentry Engineer

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Nine: Lvl3 Sentry Engineer

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sub-Category Ten: Co-Op

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I hope that you all take this chance to bask in the glory of conc_somthing, as it may be taken from us in the blink of an eye, and missing out on somthing as phenomenal as conc_somthing would be somthing that you would regret for the rest of your life.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2016, 03:02:28 PM by 879m »


pants

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Zike

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Zike1017 ツ | tipofthehats.org has graciously donated the key kendrick owes him from bg3 for 3rd place on arugula. This will be awarded to first place. Any other places get nothing, since they didn't git gud.


Zike

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I don't even know whats going on but I'm excited
This is the absolute pinnacle of speedrun competitions for jumping as we know it. At the conclusion of this glorious event no other competition could ever come close to even capturing the pure perfection that is this contest.


Ladyboog

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didnt read, commenting here so i can find my way back (pls no delete)


Boshy

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Something tells me only a few people are going to participate...


Dr. Heinz

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minty

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conc_somthing will cower before the glory of my mullet, and I will claim my rightful place on the throne.


catfoosh

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Triga

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this indeed feels like a meme
The creator of multiple critically acclaimed maps ....

░▄▀▒▄▄▄▒░█▀▀▀▀▄▄█░░░██▄▄█░░█▄ █░▒█▒▄░▀▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░░█░░░▒▒▒▒█ ░█░▀▄░█▄░█▀▄▄░▀░▀▀░▄▄▀░░░░ Representing London


Zike

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Something tells me only a few people are going to participate...
Only those who do not see the map for themselves. Upon basking in the radiant glory of conc_somthing all will see why they must participate.


Gorge004

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Quote
Sub-Category Ten: Co-Op
The prize pool will be split between all members.

Prize Pool
A single scrap.


John

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sorry folks but it looks like i'll be winning this competition because i got a head start last night  8)


Vexon

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Can we bet on people to win?
5:01 PM - john | jump.tf: 👌