Durr. Forget that, I forgot to give the teleport a destination.
I'm leaving that post as an example to other people because it's set up properly.
New problem: colliding with the triggers at any significant velocity seems to break the multiple trigger, causing the teleport to activate immediately.
By transferring the duty of resetting the teleport's state to the teleport itself, it improves the consistency of the delay. It still teleports immediately about 20% of the attempts.
Might have found another solution without needing the teleport. I would still appreciate a way of getting 100% consistency for future reference if anyone could help.