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jump_minions

laz · 9 · 4673

laz

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JUMP_MINIONS

jump_minions is the latest brainchild of mapmaker/jumper/tf2 personality laz.  Feast your eyes, heart, and soul on what has never even been attempted before--a fully-fledged, uncompromised minion-themed jump map.  I know guys, you're thinking "Wow, I love those little guys" and "I'm literally dropping everything I'm doing to play this map right now", but allow yourself to relax, to absorb the grandiosity of such an artistic achievement.  To assist you in this, I will begin this post with a little context, because for me, jump_minions wasn't just a map......... it was a journey.

Imagine this: you're an aspiring jump map-maker, one who wants to leave a mark the pages of history and be mentioned with the greats, like Drexen, jasska, gebobus, the list goes on...  You've released your first true map, which went completely under-the-radar, and you're still dying to acquire the attention that you know your mapmaking prowess deserves.  You think to yourself, "I need something more than a map, I need a statement.  Something that will really catch people's eye."  And then, out of nowhere, an idea pops in your head, one too ambitious for consideration, too grand to give a second thought. 

I was this person.  It was almost biblical how such an idea came to me.  I was home one night, drudging along inspirationlessly on whatever jump map I was working on at the time.  Suddenly, on my second monitor, an advertisement appeared on my browser window.  "Minions now in theaters", it exclaimed.  I stared dumbly at the screen for a few seconds, and then it clicked.  Neurons in my brain fired at all the right times, and a legendary connection was made.  A minion-themed jump map.  I didn't care about the odds stacked against me.  I didn't care about the risks.  I put all of my being into making this map, because I knew that it would not only earn me a place among the greats, but that I was doing a monumental service to the jumping community.

Two days of rigorous work later, I put the finishing details on Kevin's overalls, and I was done.  In case you were wondering about some of the many features this map has to offer you, I'll list them:
     -9 captivating soldier jumps
     -Over twenty custom textures and models
     -Breathtaking custom skybox
     -Like 10 minion memes to spruce up the experience throughout
     -Travel inside a real-life minion. Hone your jump skills while exploring the anatomy of these cute creatures!
     -Transcend all human desires and morals and reach minion heaven, where you too can experience the bliss of being a minion
     -Ride a minion peepee! (whoops lewd sorry ;])

You'd literally have to be mentally ill to have not been convinced by now, but here are some screenshots to further prove my point:






And the best part? It's not even done yet.  There are classified plans in place to expand, to make what is great even greater.  While I can't give you specifics, some general future updates to mark your calendars for include:
     -Animated minion textures
     -Minion sounds
     -A showcase
     -More crazy minion memes and jumps!


Download:
http://www.mediafire.com/download/4r5y5k5ipfk1gwj/jump_minions_b3.zip

Watch out with this download guys even a big site like mediafire can't handle all the traffic this will inevitably cause so I'll ask everyone to limit their downloads to three per person.

Please leave a comment telling me how great this map is.  I will not tolerate any feedback because jump_minions is already perfection and if you dont think s oyour opion is wrong so please only say good things about map okay thanks hope you enjoy!!!
« Last Edit: August 05, 2015, 01:58:32 PM by laz »


nolem

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I have no idea how I should react to this


AI

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John

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buhnanuh

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finally... a full-fledged meme map.  these new, progressive jumpers are really pushing the boundaries of what can and cannot be done!


BQE

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I will gladly play your map if you release a dev textured, fullbright version.



Melon

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i like your choice in HUDs
im gonna go hang myself


Vexon

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finally... a full-fledged meme map.  these new, progressive jumpers are really pushing the boundaries of what can and cannot be done!

laz aint new
5:01 PM - john | jump.tf: 👌